Love does move in mysterious ways, and when it hits you, it does hit you hard. However, in choosing your romantic partner for life, you cannot fully know who they truly are not until you get to live under one roof. However, what if your partner is someone who has Asperger Syndrome?
“The term unconditional love does not mean love without limits or bounds. It means, “I offer you my love freely without condition.” What this means is that when we offer our love, we offer it without expectation of repayment.” – Elizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT
Indeed, having a partner diagnosed with Asperger’s can be quite complicated for a couple. There might be some arguments that may be caused by your partner’s difficulty to express their feelings. At the same time, you might misinterpret their actions as something quite peculiar, or rather insensitive.
However, it is essential to understand why they act this way, and if there is a possibility that they have Aspergers, you should seek the help of a doctor soon. You might wonder what could be the repercussions of this in your marriage. But the bigger question should be, what can you do to deal with your partner’s condition?
What is Asperger Syndrome?
Asperger Syndrome is a condition that is part of the autism spectrum. However, unlike other autism types in the spectrum, people diagnosed with Asperger’s are often high-functioning, even having above-average intelligence.
According to Clinical Psychologist Kenneth Roberson, “One of the core problems for adults with AS is an inability to understand the intent behind another person’s actions, words, and behaviors. Difficulty in seeing things from someone else’s perspective makes it challenging to predict or understand the actions of others. Social interactions are often confusing and overwhelming.”
When a person has this condition, they tend to lack the necessary social skills and sometimes even motor regulation. For other people, they may seem insensitive and lacking empathy, often leading to arguments and misunderstandings, but actually, this is because of their diagnosis. They also have an obsessive orientation with organization and detail, which is why they are also prone to having obsessive-compulsive disorder.
If your partner is showing these symptoms, it is best to seek the help of a professional. This way, you can get the proper diagnosis, instead of self-medicating and self-diagnosing them with Aspergers.
How To Better Understand Your Partner Diagnosed With Asperger Syndrome
If you feel that your partner may be dealing with Aspergers, it is best to consult with a doctor. Getting the proper diagnosis is the first step for any medical condition that someone is facing. At the same time, acceptance for both you and your partner are very much needed.
In this sensitive time, your partner might need extra patience and understanding coming from your part. Being married to this person, you should be more than willing to lend a helping hand, most importantly because you vowed to be there for him in sickness and in health. During therapies, be there for them and support them.
At the same time, it can also be helpful for the both of you if you schedule your conversation time together, wherein you teach them about body language or social cues. By doing so, it may help them recognize your feelings more, and it can be progressive in their development.
Counseling is also a vital tool when it comes to dealing with marital problems. Having an expert on Asperger’s may help you get the advice you and your spouse need. Eva Mendes, LMHC, wrote, “The issues and challenges that some neurodiverse couples face can seem similar, but every individual with ASD is unique and so is every marriage. Couples have to solve their marital challenges in a manner that is best suited to their situation and needs.”
Lastly, focus on why you fell in love with this person. What are the qualities that make him or her stand out from the rest? By answering this question, you look deeper into your partner’s core and realize how much you love him, regardless of his condition and flaws.