Various literature has always focused on what average people look for in a relationship. There are books, TV shows, and magazines on how to look for the perfect mate.
On the other hand, there is little known information on what people with autism look for in a relationship. People with autism spectrum disorders are still capable of romantic love, though it can get more challenging for them because of their condition.
“But it’s important to remember that Aspies do love. They just love in a different way. Just as all marriages face challenges, there are things that can be done to help this relationship.” – Kathy J. Marshack, Ph.D.
Here are some of the characteristics people with autism look for when starting a romantic relationship.
- Someone Who’s Understanding
It is common knowledge that individuals with autism spectrum disorder may have gone through a lot in life. They may have suffered bullying from friends, classmates, co-workers, or even from family members.
People with autism disorder are being ridiculed for something that is innate in them. These people don’t even want to have these disorders in the first place. Therefore, they are looking for a partner that understands their struggles, both past, and present. Despite these, that person will choose to love them still.
- Someone Who’s Willing To Learn More
Autism is a spectrum of disorders. It can vary from the high-functioning to the low-functioning. These are some of the medical terminologies that people would have to understand about individuals with autism. These terminologies directly imply that people suffering from autism disorders have varying needs as well. Not all people with autism should be treated in the same manner.
According to Sarah Swenson, LMHC, “Helping your partner see the invisible would be a great gift because most likely he experiences great anxiety without even realizing it due to all the cues he senses that he misses.”
Therefore, potential partners of people with autism should be willing to learn more about their partners, including their condition.
- Someone Who Can Share Our World
Being in a relationship means living shared lives. You will intertwine your past and your present experiences with your partner to lead to a shared future.
An excerpt from an article by Daniel Blumrosen, LMFT, stated, “Neurodiverse kids and adults need a safe place to explore what is working well in their lives and what areas might be causing distress, social isolation, bullying, anxiety, depression or challenges in their relationships. I strongly believe in the beauty of human uniqueness and offer support without pathologizing or judging the qualities that make each person different and special.”
People with autism disorders may see the world differently. That doesn’t mean however that they are wrong in their point of view. It just pertains they need a special person that is willing to share with and live in their world as well.
People with autism disorders need a constant person that will love them even if they want to leave early from a family reunion. They need a person to explain to them even if they cannot get the simplest of jokes. Also, they will want you to understand that everything you say to them is taken literally. Knowing the things discussed above, it can be hard to love a person with an autism disorder. However, despite these, they want you to know that they will remain loyal and steadfast even for years to come. They will not break your heart intentionally.
To end, people with autism disorder are capable of love as well. Like any other person, they have their parameters of what they want in a relationship. Despite having their condition, they can still give care and affection to the love of their lives. Their partners, on the other hand, should be able to provide the love they need and deserve. Specifically, their partners should possess extra understanding and patience to maintain a healthy romantic relationship.